PGreenblog: My Boyfriend in the Cloud: Oracles Susie Penner Posts on The Cloud andRelationships

PG Note: Susie Penner is arguably one of the most beloved people who ever met an analyst or influencer. A Director of Corporate Communications at Oracle, Susie is one of the best at her job, handling the independent analysts for Oracle focused around the applications side, especially CRM. She is an amazing person, making sure that things get done that need to – a consummate professional and a warm human being that I’m proud to call a friend.

One thing she hasn’t done, until now, is write. But recently, she penned this piece, My Boyfriend in the Cloud, a whimsical, light-hearted yet excellent metaphor for looking at the cloud from her perspective – which should help a few of you understand the different nuances better. As always, these opinions are hers, since I’m married I can’t even think about the cloud that way. Yvonne, my wife of almost 32 years, might not be too happy. But I do have to think about the cloud. So, let’s look at this charming approach to the contemporary software and services delivery. I never thought “charming” and “software and services delivery” could be in the same sentence, but Susie did it.

Take it away Susie!

My Boyfriend in the Cloud

by Susie Penner

Oracle Corporate Communications

Yep, you read that correctly.

Being a divorced woman in her not so 30s with a high-tech career, I have come to a conclusion that choosing software deployment is much like dating the second time around. Let me walk you through my thinking here:

On-premise

Description - known as “the husband” or “permanent boyfriend”. He lives there all the time. He won’t leave unless you tell him to leave. Hardware maintenance, upgrade process. Live-in consultants – these are all requirements to get value out of this implementation.

Benefits

Waking up to him every morning.
Knowing he’s there for you when you want him (sometimes even when you don’t).
Personal attention.
Someone to take the trash out when you don’t want to do it yourself.
Commitment – he’s made a personal investment in the partnership.

Challenges

Dense up front training support (aka the honeymoon period).
Painful upgrades.
Live-in consultants.
Not as flexible or dynamic, once it is installed changes are very difficult.

Hosted

Description – This is the guy who you know isn’t “the” man. This is the 29 year old “just for now” boyfriend. Low or no commitment. He sometimes lives even a state or coast away. Sometimes he’s married and you don’t know it. Sometimes he’s stupid and silly. But most of the time, he’s a good time. With 99.999% availability, also good to know he will be there when needed (mostly).

Benefits

Convenient.
Lightweight.
Easy exit.
Mostly available as needed or required.

Challenges

Basic functionality, you may have met on an online dating site, an industry conference or at work.
No real depth.
No customizations, no training.
Typically, his longest relationship doesn’t extend beyond the life of a tube of mascara.

Enterprise-Ready Cloud

Description – Designed to be simpler for the deliverer, but sold to the recipient. The “One”. He’s solid, he’s independent, grounded and reasonable. He understands your need for independence and balance. He’s there when you want him and not, when you don’t. He wants a partner, not a mother. There’s trust, strength and mutual respect in life in general. This is the guy who will come walk your dog and water your plants when you’re traveling. He’ll also draw you a hot bath while he watches a football game. He gives you space when you need it, but most of all he is an independent man.

[Caution: Be on the lookout for the red flags, he could be the guy who has two teenaged kids with a demanding ex-wife, he has two jobs to pay for alimony and child support (possibly your current baby daddy) and just tells you over coffee he wants to go back to school to become a doctor or a performance artist (as long as you’re there to support him in this journey.)]

Benefits

Open dialogue.
Realistic approach from the beginning.
Scalable to something more or something less.
He can be the creative type, up for almost anything.
He can be an idealist, but not much a realist.

Challenges

Rare.
Slight tendency to be high maintenance, messy and complex if you aren’t careful.
Require that you know yourself and not lying to your own face each and every day.
The biggest inhibitor is ‘YOU”.
You understand that it can’t be all easy or doesn’t have to be all hard.

Next up: End-user agreement…

(Special thanks to @ekolsky @MeganMurray for their edits and of course, the most supportive and kind person in this business @pgreenbe)